Despoiling Harry

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The characters and the situations within these fanfiction stories are not my property. They are the property of J.K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, and others, and are used without permission; challenge to copyright is not intended and should not be construed. No profit is being made from the use of these characters and situations; these written-down imaginings are only presented in an internet forum for the interest of and consumption by the like-minded individuals who enjoy them and recognize them as unauthorized fanfiction only, and are not in any way meant to be confused with the originals NOR presented as authorized materials of these owners.

Lucius/Severus (Squick night, challenge by [info]gmth)

Some days Severus wishes he wasn't so fastidious. If his bed linens weren't fresh, if his body weren't so well depilated, Lucius wouldn't be so eager for these visits. He doesn't wash his hair quite so often as he might, but Lucius overlooks that little detail, it seems.

But he does not want to change his habits any more than he must. And that is why the sheets smell of lavender, the jar of lubricant opens without any stickiness on the rim, the switches are bundled, and the manacles gleam their steely brilliance. And the silken pillowcase is always pristine.

James/Peter (Squick night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

I went to the Dark Lord. I went to James and Sirius. I went back to the Dark Lord and told him what he wanted to hear. I went to my house and waited. I went to Godric's Hollow.

I looked at the ruin they had made of it. I looked for my Lord. I looked for the child. I looked for bodies.

I found Lily. I found James.

I took a look at the beauty of his dead face. I took a moment to think about what I had done.

And then I took what I had always wanted.

Harry/Snape (Squick night, challenge by [info]snapetoy)

"You endanger all around you."

"Yes." The boy's face slick with tears. Breathing quickening as the thrusts push him into the bed's softness.

"You are more figurehead than human. And you revel in it."

"Yes." Voice cracking, because of the way Snape's thumb is grazing over the head of his cock.

"When you are gone, no one will have to try to protect you any more. And they'll be safe."

He begs: "Do it, please."

A kiss. Snape transfers the poison to the mouth under his.

Keeps some back. Swallows.

Not part of the plan, Potter's eyes say.

Fuck it.

They don't make them like they used to

"Where did you get this?"

Remus doesn't meet his eyes. "It's been a wet summer. Had to buy the henbane this time; the plot out back was depleted. Don't worry, I only went into Knockturn, and I was disguised. And careful."

Draco doesn't speak. Examines the galleon. Then: "Feels lighter than I remember."

"I heard they aren't all gold anymore. Some kind of alloy."

Draco's lip curls in that haughty aristocratic way: the one that betrays him, and the obscure near-poverty that they are forced to live in. "It really is falling down about them. Looks like we got out just in time."

Remus keeps telling himself that.

And when he looks at Draco, he can make himself believe it.

The things you can do with a candy cane.
Ron/Draco (OOC night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

The words from behind the bedroom door puzzled Ron.

"Never amount to anything, Draco. Malfoys don't take red-headed blood traitors for lovers, Draco. Cast you out without a cent, I will, Draco. Well, Daddy dearest, that was JUST BLOODY FINE WITH ME!"

Ron opened the door. Draco, wild-eyed, had his now just-slightly-longer-than-shoulderlength hair tied back in a black bow, and was standing before the mirror. He spun about, startled, to face Ron.

"Oh--didn't know you were home." He tried, unsuccessfully, to conceal the object in his hand.

"That's a candy cane."

Draco blushed.

"And you've magicked a snake's head on it."

Draco blushed harder.

"Fetch, boy!"
Neville/Sirius (OOC night, challenge by [info]gmth)

"But...but how did you manage?" said Harry, whose curiosity could no longer be contained, despite his undiminished joy at having his godfather back.

"Well," said Neville, "it was something Dumbledore said about the veil thinning in times of greatest need, or greatest desire."

"B-but if even me laid out on a sacrificial altar by Voldemort couldn't do it... Good God, Neville, what on earth did you DO while the others were coming to save me in the next room?"

Neville muttered something that he clearly hoped would be indistinct.

It wasn't. "Pasties, a spangled g-string, and a dog yummy inserted in your WHAT?" shrieked Harry.

Sirius continued to nibble Neville's ear. "Groooowwwwlllll," he said happily.

Caring for the most magical creature of all.
Harry/Hagrid (OOC night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi and [info]gmth)
Notes: I think the OOC-ness in this one is only covered by the hope that chanslash ISN'T this character's usual modus operandi!

Harry feels those fingers circle his nipples, though the fingers are so large they cover most of his chest and can't really be said to be circling anything as delicately-sized as a male human nipple. The touch soothes and arouses at the same time. Soon, those large (not too large, never too large) fingers will open Harry's trousers, and reach inside, and do something else that will both arouse and soothe.

It feels good, after more than ten years of being starved for human touch--except for blows and cuffs--to be touched in such a profoundly *big* way. Even though the touch is half-human, it seems to make up for so much, somehow.

Hagrid's so good with damaged creatures.

That time of the month.
Remus/Hermione (Het night, challenge by [info]gmth)


Severus actually rose to his feet. Hermione never called him that without severe provocation.

She looked out for blood. "I thought Remus told you what we needed, for god's sake!"

Severus blinked. "I thought he had. What were you expecting?"

"Something involving anti-inflammatories and a bit of chocolate, I would have thought! What in the hell did you give him to give to me? That was the foulest thing I ever--"

"To give to YOU? Don't tell me you drank the Wolfsbane yourself?"

Hermione stared, and then brought her hand up to cover her eyes.

"Oh, honestly, Severus. 'That time of the month' means only one thing to you, doesn't it? We HAVE to find you a girlfriend."

Secret meetings.
Snape/Ginny (Het night, challenge by [info]pastles)

A sudden jerk, and the body pinning hers is dragged up and away.

She sees the picture the three of them make as if from another's viewpoint: herself, laid out on the stone floor, eye blackened, surely, the bruises on her body, blood between her thighs; black-visaged and black-clad Snape, hand fisted in her assailant's hair; Draco, naked and suddenly no longer so fearful as he tries to escape Snape's grip and gibber some excuse.

Snape shoves him so hard he hits the opposite wall. "Get out."

Ginny looks up at her rescuer as Draco flees. He came. All her most hidden fantasies, all her most blushing secrets about this man, and he, he was the one who found her.

Saved her.

She waits for him to lift her tenderly to her feet.

He folds his arms and turns away.

"For god's sake, girl...cover yourself."

Holiday much needed.
Tonks/Voldemort (Het night, challenge by [info]ladynutmeg)

She can explain the bite marks without any problem: large mosquitoes this time of year at the seaside, naturally.

And no one in the Order wonders why she carries flavored lubricant in her purse. Lots of people like papaya, not just the Dark Lord. Nothing to worry about there.

And if any one hears her murmur, "Ooh, Tom, love, it's so BIG," in her sleep at night, she can easily tell them she's dreaming of that Jones singer fellow.

Tonks is just grateful that no one yet has noticed the paler strip of skin on her left hand's fourth finger. If they ever demand to see the ring, there's no way she'll be able to explain the skull-and-snake ruby intaglio.

Second-best is sometimes best after all.
Sirius/Lily (Het night, challenge by [info]gaaak)

"Mind the crinoline; if you tear it, I'll have your head on a plate..."

"Won't tear it...mmmph..."

"Oh, right there..."

"'ike 'at?"



"Oh, YES...!"

The door to the bathroom flew open. The occupants shrieked, but instead of flying apart, Lily simply let the skirt of the dress fall back into place in an attempt to conceal the man kneeling between her legs.

It didn't work.

" NOT...beLIEVE this."

Lily's smile was sheepish.

"You bloody betrayers. It's the BEST MAN who's supposed to get the bathroom sex with the bride, for god's sake! How could you do this to me?"

James lifted both skirt and crinoline and peeked out, equally sheepish. "We couldn't wait."

"Don't give me that. Not forgiving either of you. Bastards," said Sirius.

Lily's smile became downright wolfish. "Don't sulk, Padfoot. There's always the honeymoon suite."

Sirius's face lit up. "There's an idea."

"Hey...!" said James.

Nip it in the bud.
Severus/Remus/? (Threesome night, challenge by [info]snaples)

"Merlin, Christ, and Buddha, Albus, don't you ever KNOCK?"

Dumbledore maintained a dignified posture even as Harry yelped and tried, unsuccesfully, to pull the duvet over his face (and not, Dumbledore noted, his nudity), while Remus, bless him, did not actually pull away from his task but merely widened his eyes above his mouthful of Severus's cock and froze. Severus's blush was deep, but his scowl was deeper.

"I fear this couldn't wait."

"Tell it and GET OUT."

"I really think--"

"NOW, Albus!"

There was no help for it. "Very well," Dumbledore sighed, resigned. "Remus, I'm afraid I must tell you that one-night affair with Lily nine months before Harry's birth was more productive than you thought. And Severus...Remus was put up for adoption as a baby. By your mother."

He shut the door behind him, allowing the three men to have their collective shriek of "EW!!!" in private.

I've heard you sing that tune before.
Voldemort/Harry/? (Threesome night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

"Come here, pet."

My lord extends a hand, and our slave crosses to the bed. Kisses Voldemort's hand, lays his cheek against it wordlessly, begging for the caress, which Voldemort generously gives, before the boy crawls onto the bed between us.

"Our little pet is affectionate tonight, Lucius."

The boy is facing me. I push the hair back from his face--lovely how my Lord has allowed it to be kept long--and wipe away a tear that is trickling down his temple.

"I think you should kiss him, Lucius."

My thumb caresses the boy's lower lip, and I follow with my mouth. His relaxation is only momentary. I can feel Voldemort pressing closer, behind him, pressing him against me even as Voldemort begins his invasion.

Harry's cries enter my mouth as he's penetrated.

It is the sweetest of songs.

A long, long night of waiting.
Harry/Sirius/? (Threesome night, challenge by [info]gmth)

"Happy--mff--Christmas, Moony."

"Happy Christmas, Harry. *slurp* Official now, is it?"

"Yes, that was the clock chiming."


"Hush, Padfoot, we're getting to it. 'S midnight, and you can have your present now."

"We should have thought of this ages ago. He looks gorgeous like this. Sweaty..."

"Trussed up..."

"Harder than tungsten..."


"Gagged. Did I mention gagged?"

"Yes, I think that was the nicest touch."

"Which one of us does the honors?"

"Both, I think. You get the meat, I get the two veg."

"Certainly. Mff..."

"Let's see, not too small a space....mfff..."


"...mmp--okay, Harry, pull off, I'm sure he's--"


"Whoa! I've never seen it shoot THAT far before!"

"Should have hung his mother's picture there. That'd've given him incentive before this, even."

"Happy Christmas, Padfoot. Here, let me get that gag out of your..."

" bloody fucking MANIACS!"

"Told you he loves us."

Don't judge a book by its cover.
Ron/Peter/? (Threesome night, challenge by [info]pastles)

"You want it, don't you?"

His eight-year old brother whimpers, tears almost having reached his chin.

"Say you want it."

"I..." A hiccup. Mucus runs down Ron's chin. Percy knows he should think that's disgusting, but he doesn't.

It adds to the whole thing.

"Do it, and you'll have a pet to take with you to Hogwarts in three years. I'll see to it."

"Can--" Ron swipes at his face. "An owl?"

Percy thinks. Smiles.

"I'll ask Mum for an owl."

Ron mumbles the prerequisite words for their little ritual, and takes Percy into his mouth.

"Good boy." Percy tousles his brother's hair. Feels Scabbers on his shoulder, nuzzling his cheek with whiskers and a cold nose.

Percy lifts Scabbers and sets him carefully on Ron's shoulder instead. The rat and Ron might as well get more acquainted.

Percy never said which one of them would get the owl.

Power isn't everything
Bill/Harry/? (Threesome night, challenge by [info]gaaak)


"Hold still. I'm almost done."

"Charlie, I'm really not so sure about this...!"

"You told me you weren't claustrophobic, Harry."

"I know, it's jusmmmppphhhh--"

The door swung open.

"Hello, Bill. Got a little something for you."

Bill's eyes widened at the sight.

Harry's eyes stared back at him, panicked more than just a little, the only part of his body left visible by the bandaging.

Charlie grinned. "You don't think I knew you had a thing for this?"

Bill took a step toward the helplessly mummified Harry. He realized he was drooling.

"We wanted to surprise you."

Bill's own smile had a touch of menace as he turned to his brother; Charlie might have been just a bit too overenthusiastic with their younger lover. "Well, my fantasy won't be complete, Charlie-boy, unless YOU wear the Egyptian Dancing Girl costume."

Suddenly the looks on Harry's and Charlie's faces swapped themselves.

Blood ties.
Lucius/Draco/? (Threesome night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

Harry holds Draco's shoulders on his knees, the white-blond head in his lap.

He could have said no.

He could have refused to be there for this. But Draco wanted it, and Harry could not deny him.

He braces Draco, strokes his face gently, as Draco's father breaches him with equal tenderness.

The Malfoy heir getting a Malfoy heir on the Malfoy heir.

Draco had told Harry, at the beginning, there would be some family traditions with which he would not break.

Harry wonders if he would have changed his mind at the beginning, had he known about this one.

Broken promises.
Harry/Dudley/? (Threesome night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

"Let me up. Oh, god, Dudley, you, you don't know what you're doing..."

A bite, right at the most painful part of Harry's thigh. "Believe me, I do."

"Turn him over," pants Draco, not even taking the time to get his trousers completely off. Harry feels panic closing his throat.

"Let me fix the ties on his wrists, then."

"Dudley," Harry chokes out, "he'll kill you. What did they promise you? They'll kill you, they--"

Dudley, at Harry's bound wrists, is not loosening the ties at all. In fact, Harry suddenly finds something pushed into one of his hands.

His eyes lock on Dudley's. "Go on," his cousin mouths, and steps out of the way.

Draco, unseeing, grabs Harry's prick. It is Harry's breaking moment.

"Avada Kedavra!"

As Draco's corpse smokes in the green afterflash, Dudley says, "Cool. You always promised you'd show me REAL magic one day, Potter."

There were nights of endless pleasure.
Sirius/Harry (Songfic night, challenge by [info]pastles)

"Can anything be done, Albus?"

The blue eyes did not twinkle. "Not unless the one trapped within wishes to be freed."

Remus pounded the wall with his fist. "Dammit, Albus, I had no idea it had gone this far."

They stared at the scene within the wards. Harry did not open his eyes, not once. But the dark head turned on the pillow, mouth open in what was unmistakably a moan; the body twisted under the sheet, now throwing it off, now arching under ghostly hands or mouth.

A ghost whose shadow was long-haired, and shaped oh so familiarly.

"Perhaps it had not, Remus. Perhaps it was only his fantasy."

"Does that make it better, then, or worse?"

"It does not make the spell any less breakable."

"That's not what I asked you."

"I know."

Harry would, in all likelihood, starve inside the encapsulating wards, which he himself had crafted.

And if you've got no other choice, you know you can follow my voice.
Lucius/Remus (Songfic night, challenge by [info]ladynutmeg)

"Where is it, goddamn you?"

"Tut, I shall become angry, wolf. I really don't recommend you anger me."

"You love this, don't you, watching me search the whole cell for the bowl. You hope I'll knock it over and have to eat the contents off the floor."

"That might be amusing, I admit, but it is not why I'm smiling. Oh, I'm sorry, how *rude* of me. You cannot see me smiling. I keep...forgetting."

"You fucker."

"No, wolf, I'm smiling because I'm wondering why you think the bowl's there at all."

"...You said--"

"I said, suck me off, and you'll be fed today. I did tell you to swallow, did I not? I think that's sufficient protein for today."

"...You fucking son-of-a-bitch."

"You still haven't lost the habit of turning those ruined eyesockets toward the person you're listening to. Lovely. I do love looking at my handiwork. Ta, wolf."

If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with
Snape/Voldemort (Songfic night, challenge by [info]snapetoy)

"Mighty fuck, Severus, you look appalling. Can you even walk?"

"I should be much obliged for your arm, if you wouldn't mind, Lucius."

"Not at all. Is that better?"

"Much, thank you."

"I know that shuffle too well. In a playful mood last night, was he?"

"Nothing so fortunate."


"I made...a bit of a mistake last night."

"Oh, Severus, you poor bastard. Don't tell me you--"

"I shall give you some advice, Lucius."

"Yes, my poor dear friend?"

"When at the height of passion, in the Dark Lord's bed..."


"Never, and I mean NEVER, call him 'Tom.'"

Making happy memories to use against the dementors
Remus/Harry (Chan night, challenge by [info]gmth)

The boy falters. His voice catches on the R at the beginning of the word, and goes no farther.


And Remus discovers that, somewhere during the time when he leaps forward with his own wand and boggart-dispelling charm, he's also managed to seize the boy around the waist. There they stand, both panting. Remus can smell the chocolate on Harry's breath.

And the scent at the crown of his hair, just a little below Remus's nose.

He tries to resist the impulse to press his face to that spot.

"I warned you not to get exhausted. A boggart can harm you, even if it isn't a real Dementor. You should rest."

"Don't want rest." And he turns in Remus's arms and pushes his face into the older man's shoulder.

Remus gives in.

But he tells himself it's only because this is James's son.

Yes. That's the only reason.


Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Dumbledore/Tom Riddle (Chan night, challenge by [info]pastles)

Eleven years old.

He can hardly believe it.

The boy looks at him. Staring at his not-quite-in-style clothing, no doubt.


It's not hard to assume a haughty mien. "Don't stare, boy, it's rude. Particularly to do so at a prefect."

"Oh! Are you-- I mean, I--didn't know where to go, can you--"

He allows himself a smile and extends a hand. "I'd be glad to. You can always ask a prefect. What's your name, young man?"


"Well, Albus, come along with me. I'll show you where first-years go. I think we'll be special friends, don't you?"

Tom is fairly sure the Room of Requirement existed at Hogwarts even all those-- these-- years ago. That will do very nicely. No one will hear.

A pity he hadn't known about Time-Turners years ago.

Seeker training.
James/Harry (Chan night, challenge by [info]gaaak)

"Please say something."

Harry presses his palm to the mirror's surface, and the black-haired, bespectacled figure there returns the gesture. Is it truly only the cold touch of glass he feels, or is there something this time, the smallest hint of flesh and heartbeat?

"They've made me a Seeker. They all think I should be happy. But it isn't a goddamn Snitch, a goddamn Quidditch trophy I'm looking for; please, say something."

Both palms now. Now their chests, striving for contact. Both of them look desperate.

Harry pulls his pajama top over his head. Maybe the clothing inhibits movement through, he thinks, not wanting to admit that he's going mad, looking for logic here.

Later, as he races away, nightclothes clutched in his hands, he doesn't give a bloody fuck what they think is smeared on that fucking mirror, tomorrow.

All's fair in love and war
Lucius/Harry (Chan night, challenge by [info]sparrohawk)

"A duel without magic, you said."

Lucius fists his hand in the back of the boy's shirt.

"Because you wanted it to be fair."

Pulls him upright, making sure he's alive. He is.

"So I would think it would be fair to claim the spoils of victory without magic as well; don't you think, boy?"

He shoves him against the wall--Lucius can hear teeth hit stone, probably chipping some--and holds him there, hand on the back of the neck.

"No painless restraint charms--" he drags the boy's trousers down without bothering to undo the belt, scraping the skin over his hipbones-- "no lubrication or relaxation spells; after all, we want to play by the rules, don't we, Potter?"

The boy screams-- and bleeds--most satisfyingly.

Cruciatus be damned. Old ways are the best.

There are other rooms in the Department of Mysteries, little girl.
Bellatrix/Hermione (Chan night, challenge by [info]ladynutmeg)
Note: This next challenge was proposed but dismissed, but I couldn't let it go. I wrote this one instead of the one that was sent in its place.

There are three fingers inside of her: one, two, three.

The fingers have long fingernails, and she's quite sure they were not particularly clean when they broke through her hymen. Hermione knows that should not be the first thing for her to worry about, but she's thinking it all the same.

A fourth finger. Where are the others? Where is Harry? Her wand is gone.

The female vagina is supposed to expand to accommodate the skull of a nine-month fetus, Hermione tells herself. Bigger than the fist that Bellatrix Lestrange is now trying to insert into that very orifice. That she is succeeding in inserting.

Hermione wonders if the woman ever birthed children of her own. She opens her mouth to ask.

But that's the moment she loses consciousness instead.

"There will be no foolish wand-waving in this class..."
Snape/Harry (Chan night, challenge by [info]snapetoy)
Note: And this one came out at 200 words. One may claim it is two drabbles if there's a splitting point, but there isn't for this one. So, no excuses.

The hands are cold, and they don't uncurl into a shape to accommodate, when Severus picks up their unresisting forms and lays them against his cheeks.

He never had cold hands. He had the metabolism of a teenaged boy: so hot and lively it almost shot off sparks.

Severus never complained about him stealing the covers during the few nights they secretly spent the entire night in bed together. Potter was a bloody furnace; it didn't matter.

No warmth comes from him now.

And Severus thinks that it would be the best thing in the world for him to just lie down next to the body and lay there until all his own heat is leeched away. And he is as cold and wretched a piece of meat as Harry.

He does not.

Instead, he slides an arm behind the body's shoulders, elevating the head, and takes hold of the wand (eleven inches holly and phoenix feather, he litanies) and draws it from the pulped eyesocket. The sound it makes as it exits corpus callosum will stay with Severus for the rest of his life.

But he does not want anyone to see their savior-- see his Harry-- like that.

"Stand up and take out your wand, Potter." (OoTP, 533)
Harry/Lucius (Innuendo night, challenge by [info]gmth)

"Stand up and take out your wand, Potter."

Seething, outnumbered, Harry did as he was told, set it on the table where indicated.

Lucius continued to smile. "And what else have you on your person?"

"Two chocolate frogs and my eyeglass case. You think that's going to make Voldemort cringe in fear?" Harry growled.

"Oh, dear, it's going to be like that, is it. Strip him."

"Goddammit, you pervert, you've just been waiting for this moment, haven't you!" yelled Harry, unsuccessfully trying to elude the grip of the two masked Death Eaters.

"Really, Potter," Lucius said as he advanced, still smiling, "why do you think the Dark side is so attractive? It's the hands-on perks of the job, dear boy."

"He and all the other Weasleys froze on the threshold, gazing at the scene in front of them, which was also suspended in mid-action, both Sirius and Snape looking toward the door with their wands pointing into each other's faces and Harry immobile between them..." (OoTP, 521)
Sirius/Snape (Innuendo night, challenge by [info]nimori)

"The floo network was completely jammed!"

Harry said nothing.

"And Ginny doesn't have her apparating licence yet!"

Sirius said nothing.

"And the muggle underground isn't running today, something about a police barricade...!"

Snape said nothing.

The Weasleys squirmed in the silence.

"All right, we should have made more effort to be here on time," said Molly with quiet dignity, stepping to the forefront. "But really, Harry, you might have waited just a little longer for us! You're at the exchange of the wands already?"

Harry glared. But then gave a gentler look to Sirius, and then to Snape, who slowly lowered their wands, not quite in unison, but close enough.

The Weasleys would be forgiven. Eventually.

Harry sighed, went back to the beginning of the scroll, started over.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..."

"Quite astonishing, the way you contrive to wriggle out of very tight holes." (OoTP, 154)
Lucius/Snape (Innuendo night, challenge by [info]snaples)

The mingled smells of semen and sweat were strong in the room as the two men finally broke contact with each other, the blond turning onto his back, the dark-haired one prone. Yet even in that pose, they did not maintain a distance, the foot of one seeking the ankle of the other, just a touch, but a skin-on-skin moment that spoke more about their relationship than any of the night's preceding events, whether sucking or fucking or penetrating or devouring.

At last Lucius spoke.

"You refused our Lord's gift."

Snape grunted. "Voldemort wanted someone who will take pleasure in debauching the boy. I wouldn't be serving our Lord's intentions if I accepted. Some puling virgin? Not my style."

A hesitation. "It is mine, you know."

Snape remembered Lucius, the older Slytherin prefect, and the lessons he'd taught to a younger, impressionable, hitherto unpopular potions prodigy.

"I know." He smiled.

"What d'you mean, I'm not brave in bed?" said Harry, completely nonplussed.
Harry/Voldemort (Innuendo night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

"My Lord, I must protest."

Voldemort remained with his head touching the back of his throne, not even opening his eyes. "You must do whatever I require of you, Lucius, and that is all."

Lucius took a deep breath. "My Lord, I have always been your most faithful servant."

Now Voldemort did open his eyes. "No, Lucius, for a time, that honor belonged to Severus Snape. Then Wormtail. You also were once my most faithful servant, it is true." He picked up the ringed hand of the boy beside him. "Now the honor moves to another."

Lucius spluttered most unattractively."You would give the position of advisor to your...concubine?"

A smile. "Amusing, is it not? Crucio could not break him. Imperio could not break him. The only thing I found that could defeat that damnable courage of his" He stroked the jewel-bedecked black hair. "And, Lucius?...It's Consort, now."

Harry beamed.

Wouldn't send a dog out on a night like this
Harry/Sirius (Alternate viewpoint night, challenge by Gina)

"But...but, Sirius..."

"Hush, Harry."

Harry moves over in the bed. Far over. Better to move and be silent than argue and be ignored.

"See, I told you there would be plenty of room for two."

Harry doesn't speak. Definitely doesn't nod. He can hear his own breathing in the room and it sounds loud and harsh to him.

How did it move from *it's so late, you don't have to leave tonight* to this?

"Mm, something smells good. Is it the sheets? No, I think it must be you."



Harry bites his lip.

Bites it harder when the hand touches his belly.

"You're so warm, Harry."

Blood on his lips. And Sirius is bringing his mouth closer to his.

Maybe if Sirius tastes that, he'll stop.

Oh, please.

Just whose side are you on?
Snape/Lucius (Alternate viewpoint night, challenge by [info]nimori)

"The right."

"You're mad."

"No, I'm not. Always on the right."

"Our Lord never allows that."

"Never allows it with you, you mean. He always asks me my choice. I suppose some of us are just more privileged than others, Severus."

"I BEG your pardon?"

"Oh, don't be like that. At least he lets you in his bed at all, you greasy-haired twit."

"Bastard. Tell me what I'm doing here in yours, then, if I'm so undesirable?"

"Our Lord's occupied with another tonight, and as you know perfectly well, neither of us likes to sleep alone."

"And wanking is just so unsatisfying, once you've tasted his favors."

"There is that."

"Fine. Move over."

"...Excuse me? What did I just finish saying? I get the right side of the bed, always. If our Lord can't move me, what makes me think you can?"


"Up yours."

Desecrating is easy.
Lucius/Harry (Alternate viewpoint night, challenge by MeLi)

"More. Oh, please, more..."

The little whore panted through a lipstick-stained mouth as the Death Eater lightly fingered one nipple. His half-closed lids glittered with cosmetic dust as he arched into the touch.

So easy. A little pain, a little petting. All in careful doses.

And what was the Boy Who Lived, this savior of the Wizarding World?

Flesh like all the rest. No more than the needs of that flesh. Mouth to be fed, lungs to be filled, bladder and bowels to be emptied. Cock to be teased and tweaked and brought to climax. If those needs were met, what else was there?

The boy spread his legs under Lucius's attentions.

Voldemort smiled, enjoying the display.

Perhaps he would allow the slut to live, for a time, after all.

Snape as Harry's father
Snape/Harry. (Cliche night, challenge by Gina)

Harry kisses him, with tongue. "I love it," he gasps after. "I love tasting you, I love feeling you inside me, I love smelling you on me afterwards. I'm yours, Daddy."

Snape's fairly sure the hand he's using to stroke Harry's cock in a "we have all the time in the world" lazy rhythm doesn't hesitate, not even a bit.

"I've been meaning to tell you, Potter...I'm not--all that fond of that particular endearment."

"Oh?" Harry sounds sleepy. "Any particular reason?"

A pause. "Just some unpleasant memories of childhood."

"Oh. Well, I won't use it anymore, then."

"Thank you."

No. He'll never tell him.

The man with two faces
Snape/Bill (Chapter titles night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

There is a pop from the fireplace. It comes at least three hours after said event had been expected. "Sorry I--"

"Don't. Here's your tea." The red-haired man waves a wand, and the mug's contents are steaming again. "Drink it. I'll go do the same for the bath water."

"Bill, I--"

"Don't. If you break our agreement, I'll be even more upset. How's your arm?

The agreement not to apologize. Severus has to bite back further explanation, despite that, before he can answer the question. "Not--too terribly painful, tonight. I have vetiver and elecampane mixed on the--"

"I'll get it."

Severus watches him go, still fighting to stay silent. But Bill had been quite specific, about what conditions he would have before he would sleep with, live with, hold fast to, a double agent.

And Severus knows he has no right to apologize, in any case.

Out of the fire
Harry/Neville (Chapter titles night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

"You stupid *gits*."

They all turn and look at the pale boy who has appeared in the doorway.

"Never Potter. It was never Potter. A half-blood." Neville walks towards the Death Eaters, a deliberateness in his step that's never been there before in his life. "You've all been chasing the wrong one."

"MMMPH!" Harry tries to make himself understood around the gag, fighting his restraints and shaking his head frantically as Neville ignores him and continues forward.

"It was me. Born as the seventh month dies. I'm the one you need to kill. Not Potter. Stupid, stupid gits."

Harry can only moan as Neville stands there, ready to die for him. For all of them.

Foolish, deluded Neville.

Voldemort does not change expression, only flicks his eyes towards Lucius Malfoy. "Kill them both."

Harry closes his eyes so he will not have to see the dawning horror on Neville's face.

The weighing of the wands
Sirius/Remus (Chapter titles night, challenge by Gina)

"I've always thought it was the core that mattered most," said James.

"You would think that." Sirius flicked a stray Every Flavor Bean in Remus's direction. "Everyone knows it's the type of wood that determines your really quality wand."

Remus deflected it without looking. "Not the song you were singing the night before."

"Pardon?" Sirius arched an eyebrow.

"Length, length, length. That's all you would talk about."

Sirius cleared his throat. "As I recall, it was in relation to the proper kinds of...sheaths for wands."

"Not what I remember. That, and the...topology, shall we say, of the tip."

"Look," snarled Sirius, suddenly rather red in the face, "we're not having this discussion again, understand?" He was on his feet and out the door in a matter of seconds.

Silence in the common room. Then:

"Are we still talking about the same thing?" Peter asked plaintively.

Christmas on the closed ward
Frank Longbottom/Gilderoy Lockhart (Chapter titles night, challenge by Gina)

"Here, take's a quill, you haven't forgotten these...that's right; now, look, the F has a little hat on it, like this, and it stops before you begin to make the r, but then the end of that letter goes right into the a, see, that's why it's called joined-up, honestly, Frank, don't just eat the end of it, I know it's a sugar quill, but you've got to learn how to do this again; you're a right hero, you know, just like me--not as good-looking, of course, but you'll do, and how else can you autograph pictures of yourself if you can't...look, take this candy cane instead. We can try again later. Neither of us is leaving this place soon, I know. Kiss goodnight? You know I can't get to sleep without--mmm, peppermint. Happy Christmas, Frank."

Snape got infected during that nasty prank Black played on him.
Snape/Remus (AU night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

"A pity sugar cancels the effectiveness," says Remus.

Snape says nothing.

Remus catches his arm. When Snape looks back, Remus is stretched out in his chair in a most come-hither manner.

"Why not touch your lips to the goblet rim, Severus?" he leers. "That would be all the sweetness I need."

Snape does not change expression. "Bitterness is an acquired taste, Lupin. I suggest you begin to acquire it."

"Oh, I've already done that as well." Remus stands, still not letting go of Snape's arm. "Some bitter things please me very much." His other hand touches Snape's chin. "Kiss me on the mouth, then, bitter creature."

And Snape does not, but he does stand still for the kiss that Remus takes.

It is hard remembering that Remus is his alpha only for a short duration of each month.

Even in human form, hard to remember.

Voldemort did get his hands on the philosopher's stone.
Harry/Voldemort (AU night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

"Quirrell, do let the boy catch his breath."

"As you wish, my lord."

"And the amount of blood he's losing simply will not do. What in Merlin's name did you barb the tip of that whip with?"

"There are glass shards all along its length, my lord."

"Honestly, your eagerness for creativity does not serve you well. He's a perfect mess from neck to heels. He'll have to be cleaned up before I can enjoy him."

"I had thought that it might serve a dual purpose..."

"Quirrell, Quirrell. How many times have I told you that blood simply is not an acceptable lubricant? It's sticky and it dries far too quickly."

"Yes, my lord. Apologies."

Harry didn't escape from the cemetery at the ending of GoF.
Harry/Lucius (AU night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

"My lord, this is unseemly. Your first act upon returning to corporeal form is to duel a mere boy? It will not serve your reputation."

Voldemort looks at Lucius for a long moment, while all else hold their breath. Then:

"You are not one to dissemble, Lucius. Not even to curry favor... nor to avoid reprimand. I appreciate that, old friend. Have you a better plan?"

"I think so, my lord." Lucius allows himself only the tiniest of smiles. "Let it be known that the boy was given to the threefold Ritual of Mantis, Spider, and Serpent."

"Ah, yes. Debauchery, exsanguination, and cannibalism. I assume I can ask you to take care of the debauchery, Lucius?"

"With pleasure, my lord."

And Harry begins to beg like the child he is.

A wolf in sheep's clothing
Remus/Harry (Abuse of power night, challenge by Gina and [info]maeglinyedi)


"It's necessary, Harry."


"It shouldn't have started. I shouldn't have started. It's my fault; I know that and I'll not try to deny my responsibility. But now we are stopping this. I'm sorry but I'm most sorry that I was weak enough to give in in the first place."

Lupin turns to go. Harry catches his sleeve.

"I'll tell Dumbledore."


"Tell me you don't want me. Tell me you're bored with me. That I'll understand." His lower lip protrudes and he looks exactly as young as he is. "But if you brush me off with the 'we shouldn't be doing this' routine now, now, after all this, I swear I'll go to Dumbledore and tell him you m-molested me."

It is on Lupin's lips to say, Tell him then.

To say, I don't want you.

To say, I'm bored with you.

He wonders which he will choose.

father knows best
Harry/Arthur (Abuse of power night, challenge by Gina and [info]maeglinyedi)

"So I have to marry Ginny," Harry sighed.

"Erm...not exactly." Mr. Weasley fidgeted. "'Family Heir' doesn't include any females in the family. It's rather an archaic law, and the word 'sexism' was only a gleam in the eye of modern-day liberated witches, I'm afraid."

"But...that would mean..."

"Yes. It means a male. Really, Harry, we're all very sorry about this."

"YOU'RE sorry! I'm the one who has to do the marrying!" His face sobered. "Oh. And...Bill, I suppose. Well. Yes, I suppose it's not going to be easy for him either. Um, does he...know?"

Mr. and Mr. Weasley exchanged looks.

" see, 'heir' doesn't...refer to the youngest generation, Harry," said Mr. Weasley. "It refers to the oldest. And...and, father is, um. Passed on."

Harry stared.

Then: "You have got to be fucking kidding me."

"I'm not thrilled at having to divorce my husband for this, either," Mrs. Weasley sulked.

Learning to see through the lies
Voldemort/Snape (Abuse of power night, challenge by Gina and [info]maeglinyedi)

"Tell me you find this interesting, my friend."

And Severus tells him: I do.

One year later:

"Tell me you will serve me, my creature."

And Severus tells him: I will.

Two years later:

"Tell me you have remained mine, my servant."

And Severus tells him: I have.

Twelve years later:

"Tell me you are glad to see me, my own."

And Severus tells him: I am.

One year later:

"Tell me you love me, my heart."

And Severus tells him: I do.

Three years later:

"Tell me you were always loyal, my Severus."

And Severus tells him: I was.

When, precisely, did the lies start?

Voldemort knows that he will have to kill Severus eventually. And he will never be able to ask him anything again.

Perhaps it can wait.

Another year.

Or two.

The lot of the ignored.
Sirius, Neville. (First times night, challenge by [info]nimori)


Neville shook his head. "It makes me hiccup."

Sirius took back the proffered bottle of whiskey. "Silliest excuse I've heard." He swigged.

"Well..." Neville wasn't sure where this urge for honesty was coming from. "It sounds better than, 'I get stupid and try to kiss whoever's next to me, gender unimportant.'"

"Ah. Well, given that I'm the only other person here, you would have to take that into account, yes."

Only other person here. Harry's ultimatum before joining the Order had been twofold: that they would not risk Sirius a second time, and to keep Neville back as an ace in the hole in case Harry failed.

Just he and Sirius, stuck in 12 Grimmauld Place, while the others went to determine the fate of the world.

"On second thought, give me that bottle."

alliances aren't always about allies
Snape, Lucius. (First times night, challenge by [info]snaples)

Severus's prick had already gone soft, but Lucius toyed with it as if it had been a quill he was twirling in his fingers. He wondered what his little fucktoy might look like pierced.

"Can I come with you tonight?"

Lucius stopped. Then he made himself resume what he was doing, so that there might be no hint that the question had caught him unprepared.

"Now why on earth would you want to do that? Voldemort's meetings are dreadfully boring."

"I want to go." Severus sat up in the bed, which dislodged his penis from Lucius's caresses. How important this must be to him, if he could forego that. "I'm not too young for it."

Lucius could not keep his gaze from moving to Severus's unmarked forearm. Could not keep his imagination free of the vision of it decorated by a black skull-and-snake tattoo.

But he was able to keep from shuddering visibly.

"All right. If you like."

Severus didn't smile--he never smiled--but there was something peaceful about his expression as he leaned across the bed and kissed Lucius. "Thank you."

No. There never had been any question of him protecting the boy, had there been?

Well. Pity.

never take candy from strangers
Harry, Voldemort (First times night, challenge by [info]ringspells)

When Voldemort unchains the boy, he finds the boy's weight has caused the wristchains to sink into his flesh, and he is need of his wand to get them out cleanly. It wouldn't do to have an artery cut, not yet.

They have so many delights ahead of them, still.

The action also makes the boy's hand uncurl just enough so that Voldemort can see the melted residue of the portkey-transformed chocolate on his palm. Yes, that had been clever of him, hadn't it.

The boy lies unmoving where he has fallen. Voldemort kicks him in the ribs.

"Do not feign unconsciousness, boy. Or are you perhaps inviting another rape, so that I may watch you writhe again?"

Still nothing.

Well, an empty threat is no threat at all. Voldemort unseals his robes once more.

what really happened?
Lupin/Snape (First times night, challenge by [info]snapetoy)

"Not to worry, " said Remus, snuggling closer. "A werewolf can always tell his mate by smell. You'll never be in any danger during my transformations."

Severus had no words. Twelve orgasms in a row had done quite the number on his speech centers. "Ulgf."

A kiss on the side of his face. "And of course, our children will have the same instincts. This is such a lovely turn of events; I must remember to thank Sirius."

Severus tried to say, "CHILDREN?" but it came out, "Blfglr?"

"I wonder how many there will be in the first litter?" Remus prodded his side. "How wide are your hips, anyway?"

Severus fainted.

a drowsy night in the Serpent's den
Snape, Harry (First times night, challenge by [info]snaples)

"Will I remember this?" says the boy sleepily, beside him.

Severus thinks about how very perceptive the child is, even at this age. "No, you won't," he says, drawing the blanket up over the both of them. "But you were very, very good. I'll let you remember that. Would you like some chocolate?"

"Yes, please," says Harry, with impeccable manners. He takes it, and Severus can see the thoughts behind those eyes, even without legilimancy: how nice this has been, how good it felt, how they never give him chocolate at home...

Candy melting in his mouth, the boy drifts off to sleep as Severus watches. He cannot resist kissing the top of the boy's head. "Now neither of them can play the virgin sacrifice card on you, child. Neither my master nor that benign-appearing pretender."

His wand and a portkey lie near, on the bedside table. But they can wait.

The Secret of Snape's Excellent Grades.
Snape/Lucius. (Cheating night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

Lucius is not afraid to make noise when he comes. No girlish cries; certainly not, but an appreciative groan and hiss is nothing to be ashamed of.

And Severus is surprisingly good with his mouth.

He keeps his hand twisted in the younger boy's hair for a good minute after; it's for effect only, as Severus makes no attempt to pull away. Would not, certainly.

At last Lucius lets him go.

"Very nice." He is also not afraid to provide praise where it is deserved.

Severus keeps his eyes appropriately downcast, but Lucius lifts his chin with a finger, wipes a trace of come from the boy's lower lip, and says, "Your secret remains safe with me."

As Severus, still saying nothing, rises to his feet, Lucius tucks himself back into his trousers and adds, "But consider cheating, just once, like the rest of Slytherin, instead of studying? Really, Severus."

Why ever did they suspect each other of being the traitor?
Sirius/Remus. (Cheating night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

Sirius stares at his hands, but doesn't see them. "Not...just once."

"No, " says Remus, and there's no hint of excuse in his voice. Just bald truth.

That's so like him.

"All through sixth year."

"Not--quite all through. But for a good part of it."

Sirius thinks he should get up from the bed. But he stays sitting upon its edge, because if he gets up he fears he may never return.

And he doesn't want that.

"I had no idea," he hears himself say.

"Yes, well. I--" Sirius hears the catch in his voice. "I'm sorry. I'm so scared I'll lose you. But I had to tell you."

How could he not have known?

Sirius remembers this conversation, not all that many years later, as he picks up his bawling godson from the rubble of Godric's Hollow.

And wonders about people who can keep secrets so well.

"I drank your poison, you told me it was wine."
Snape/Harry. (Cheating night, challenge by cate)

The boy is on the floor, trying to retch. Snape knows he cannot vomit; it is the nature of this potion.

"Oh, God. Oh, God. Please..." Another dry-heave.

Snape keeps his position, arms folded. "And the lesson for tonight, Potter, is not to drink what is so casually offered you. Even by a friend."

"You...You're not--"

"Not a friend? No, certainly. All the more reason you do. Not. Drink."

He pulls Potter to his feet by his collar. Potter collapses against him. "What..."

"...was in the goblet? Oh, a moderate dosing of Elixir of Nine Excruciating Lusts. I do want you to remember this lesson, Potter."

He crushes the boy's lips with his own. Potter whimpers, and hangs on.

First date jitters.
Remus/Neville (Bestiality night, challenge by [info]nimori)


The door slam already had Harry jumping a meter. There was no need for Neville to shout.

"You bloody prick! How could you not tell me?"

Harry stared. No, he was goggling. "W-what?...You can't mean..."

"That's exactly what I mean. How could you fail to tell me THAT?"

Harry'd heard of disastrous first dates, but he was becoming aware that this might top them all. "Nev! I don't believe you didn't know! You--you were the one who told him you wanted it to be on the night of the full moon! You were making all those obvious howling noises!"

Now Neville stared. Then his face screwed up as if he'd gotten a lemon furniture-polish Every Flavor Bean.

"Oh, for god's sake, I didn't mean THAT. Harry..." He leaned close. "Moony's into foodplay. Eeuuuch!"

Can't stand the heat.
Charlie/Norbert (Bestiality night, challenge by [info]gmth)

Norbert likes to sleep in Charlie's tent during the hottest part of the day. That surprises Charlie. Dragons should love the heat, are usually at their most active around noon.

Not that he's going to kick the little Ridgeback out. Norbert is really quite sweet. Charlie doesn't get to work with the babies as much.

One day he's awakened from his own noontime nap by his scaly little tentmate.

At first, Charlie thinks he might cry out--no one want's a Dragon's claws that close to his family jewels--but Norbert's egg claws still have their shell-cracking bluntness to them, and they can be felt through Charlie's blanket and pants just so, and the look in those slitted eyes tells him that Norbert is anything but an innocent baby, now.

And bloody clever, with those claws.

Charlie takes the long way--the very long way--getting him safely to Romania.

What else happened in the lake?
Harry/Squid (Bestiality night, challenge by [info]lurvesnape)

"You haff a water beetle in your hair, Herm-own-ninny," said Krum.

And Harry, you've got a sucker mark on your neck, Ron thought, but didn't say, one arm still draped about Harry's shoulders. What on earth had gone on down there?

When Cho Chang didn't give Harry any secretive looks during the next week, however, he assumed he must have been wrong. But then he saw Harry changing for bed, and saw more of the marks on his back. And the one on his neck had all but healed.

Hermione? Ron felt sick. The little Delacour girl? No, that was even sicker. And she wasn't around anymore, anyway.

So who the hell could it be?

"Do you know," Harry said, plopping down next to Ron for breakfast the next morning, "I think I'm acquiring a taste for gillyweed."

And Ron found out just how painful it was to inhale porridge.

Courting rituals of the damned
Voldemort/Nagini (Bestiality night, challenge by [info]nimori)

"It's not my fault," Voldemort grumbled, "if I have certain...snake-like qualities now."

Nagini, coiled upon his lap, rubbed her scaled head against his hip encouragingly.

"And just how can any man be expected to go without, may I ask, for the rest of his immortal life? Not going to happen, I say!"

Nagini flickered her tongue against her master's knuckles in sympathy.

"Just because none of my followers have--had--the anatomical design to accommodate me..."

Here Voldemort looked down at his two-pronged member, raised and randy as ever, which had proved the end of each and every Death Eater--with messy results, for those who had tried to submit to penetration, or clean ones, when their inability to orally satisfy their master had left him raving and casting Death Curses left and right.

He petted the only one who had proved compatible.

"Just you and me, kid."

Nagini preened.

Handle with care
Harry/Blast-Ended Skrewt (Bestiality night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)
A/N: Maeglin said this one would be a silly challenge. I immediately decided to make it as angsty as I could, just to be contrary. 'M like that.

"Impedimenta!" shouted Harry. "IMPEDIMENTA!"

The spells bounced off harmlessly. Harry had to get past! Fleur might be out of the running, but Cedric was already ahead of him; he had no time--

The skrewt pounced.

Was on top of him.

The underbelly! Harry thought. The only side vulnerable to spells; if he could bring up his wand--

Harry suddenly discovered why the skrewt had allowed its underside to be exposed.

And that this particular skrewt was definitely, undeniably male.

He fought. He screamed. Clothing tore. So did flesh.

And Cedric found himself alone in a graveyard, bewilderedly clutching the Triwizard Cup, as Harry lay dying, a Blast-Ended Skrewt embryo eating him from the inside out.

Old habits die hard.
Padfoot/James (Bestiality night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

"Sirius." James rolled his eyes. "You keep forgetting. You can only reach to do that when you're in animagus form."

Sirius stopped trying to get his leg behind his head and his mouth to his crotch. "Oh, right." He stretched out with a leer. "So...wanna help?"

"Merlin, you're ready for it every minute, aren't you?...I like that in a man." Matching Sirius's leer with his own, James slid onto the bed next to him, turning Sirius onto his belly and pushing his legs apart. He parted the eager cheeks, let his tongue tantalize the musky pucker between them as Sirius moaned, then moved to mouth the heavy, silken weight of the balls.

Which were abruptly a good deal hairier than usual.

"Plfftht!" He spat short dog hairs off his tongue. "SIRIUS!"

"Sorry!" Sirius yelled as he transformed back. "It's a reflex, what can I say!"

The worst day of the year.
Arthur/Percy (Inappropriate Valentines night, challenge by [info]nimori)

The tea has gone cold, but Arthur sips at it, knowing the visit will last only as long as the tea does. "You know your mother wouldn't say a word. If you came home. Not a word of recrimina--"

"No, Dad."

Arthur falls silent.

"I won't come home," says Percy, "unless we can be like we were."

And Arthur does not even have to hear the emphasis on we to know what he means.

"Percy. Don't--"

"I miss it."

Arthur is horrified to find himself thinking: what can it hurt. It's not like it isn't anything that hasn't happened before. And Molly would be happy to have him home.

He stands. "I'll be going, then."

"Please, Dad."

"How can you think I can bring you back to our home for that?"

Percy steps closer. "We could...find somewhere else."

No, no point in blaming the Ministry.

Arthur's own fault.

Valentine's Day and polyjuice potion don't always mix
Albus/Neville (Inappropriate Valentines night)

"No excuses! No!" Albus holds up a forbidding finger. "I don't want to hear another word! Stealing storeroom materials, unauthorised brewing of Polyjuice Potion, sexual molestation--"

"It was only a kiss!" shrills the boy.

"Silence! Professor Snape has been triply insulted by your actions. The first two I could have overlooked, but the last...!"

The boy sucks in his lower lip.

Albus stands. "Take down your trousers."


"I will not expel you, neither will I do anything that will interfere with your becoming a fully-trained wizard. That, I have promised. Yet I must have something to satisfy Professor Snape. You will show him these marks, afterward. Take down your trousers and lie across my knee."

The boy's green eyes are huge, even as he complies. "B-but, Headmaster--I--you--I'm--I'm not Harry Potter!"

Albus rolls his eyes. "Do you think I don't know that, Mr. Longbottom?"


Give him what he wants and watch him cut himself on it.
Snape/Harry (Inappropriate Valentines night)

"Goddamit, Severus. What are you, my fucking valet?"

"I haven't any idea what you mean."

"Stop telling me where I can find fresh towels in your bathroom. Stop telling me that you know I have early classes tomorrow. All that shite that just tells me how badly you want me out of your bed every night."

"Really, Harry. I thought the arrangement satisfied you. We both agreed to remain discreet..."

"I don't want to be ignored by you when we're out of this room! I'm not talking about flowers and singing Valentines in the Great Hall, but dammit, I want you to make fucking eye contact! I...oh, forget it! You'll probably find some way of doing that just to the letter so that it pisses me off, too!"

Severus slides into the middle of the bed when he is gone, and sleeps.

Youth. So volatile.

Harry will be back. Tomorrow.

First line challenge: "There was a special potion..."
Remus/Harry (Inappropriate Valentines night)
A/N: This is doggerel, and it isn't remotely GOOD doggerel. But it's what popped into my head when the first line came up, and I had to work in 15 min. and obey the word count and...gah. Sigh. No more excuses.

There was a special potion,
And there was a special boy,
And he loved a special werewolf
But the werewolf played it coy.
So the boy prepared the potion
As a token of his love.
And when the moon had risen,
Looming in the sky above,
The werewolf felt no turmoil
But was happy and at peace.
Which meant his thoughts turned ribald
For some other wild release!
So when the boy came creeping
Like some stealthy fog-like cat
The werewolf smelled and heard him
And had jumped his bones like that!
So there's your happy ending!
Kiss the two of them good night--
Oh, my, you both are shameless!
Harry? Remus? Douse the light!

Fair is fair.
James/Peter (Public sex night, challenge by [info]maeglinyedi)

"I saw you."

Peter was still laughing. "What do you mean?"

James wasn't. The grin on his face had become, Peter realized, predatory. "I saw you."

Peter stopped laughing.

"You think those lap blankets conceal everything, don't you?" James's voice was a purr. "You think that we're all flying too fast on that pitch to see anything. Well, there's a reason that I'm a Seeker."

"You've got...good hands?" As soon as he said it, Peter knew he'd made a mistake.

"Those, too." James's hands had already moved to open Peter's fly, after that unintentionally innuendo'd invitation. "You don't get to fuck my boyfriend without my permission. I don't care if Sirius is gagging for it every hour of the day. Got me?"

"I--yes, Prongs."

"Good." James had Peter's trousers down to the knees. "Now turn and bend over."

Peter did.

"Maybe a threesome next time?"

"Don't push it, Wormtail."

At the Werewolf Registration Office
Remus/Harry (Public sex night, challenge by [info]nimori)

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Lupin. But the probationary period is six months of documented unreproachable behavior before your employment certificate can be granted."

"But I need that certificate now! A position's been offered--if I can't take it now--"

"I'm truly sorry."

"Please. It only needs your signature."

"Are you asking me--a representative of this office--to lie for you, Mr. Lupin?"

"Yes. Please. I--tell me what you want to make it worth your while."

"I very much doubt--"


"...You're quite serious?"


"Well. Stand, then. Now. Strip."


"You asked me what I wanted. Were you not serious?"

"I--I'm very serious. All right. Yes."

Six minutes later, the door was opened. Both men froze.

"Oh, dear," said Arthur Weasley. "Today was, um, the day that, um, you and Harry had asked to borrrow my office, wasn't it, Remus?"

Getting expelled in style.
Fred/George (Public sex night, challenge by [info]ficbymarks)

They never worry about such things in their beds in the dormitory, with the silencing spells in place and Scouring charms to obscure the evidence later, but here on the desk, the door lock having rolled over in perfect submission to one of George's super-accelerated Alohomoras, Fred makes a point of pulling out before he comes, letting the bleach-scented ejaculate spray George's belly, his chest, and quite intentionally the periphery of the desk.

They should be going, before Filch passes by on one of his patrols and senses something suspicious, as Filch will. But tonight, Fred says, "I heard something from Ginny. Harry wants to use this office."

"He does?"

"Because of the fireplace. To contact Sirius, you filthy-minded git."

"Ah. Think we should help?"

"Yeah. But not an unlocking spell in the night. Could be the perfect time to try the Swamp as a distraction, don't you think?"

"Umbitch'll know."

"Of course."

George grins. "You're thinking it's time to push off, aren't you?"

"Might as well go out in style."

"What, leaving our bodily effluvia on her desk every night isn't stylish enough for you?"

"I aspire to higher things, m'love."

George cuffs him. Fred knows that means yes.

"Ten points from Slytherin, Professor."
Harry/Snape (Public sex night, challenge by [info]gaaak)

"I'm naked under my robes," Harry said.

Snape had not actually taken a bite of his toast yet; it was merely on its way to his mouth, so he did not choke.

Harry's thigh pressed harder against his, there on the bench. "Completely naked. The shirt collar's just a collar. No shirt. It's an extra long robe so you can't see the lack of trouser cuffs above my socks. Naked from collarbones to calves." Harry took a bite of his own toast and grinned. "What do you think of that?"

"I'm eating."

"Well, so what, you only need one hand to do that. Gimme the other."

Snape sighed as Harry grabbed his left hand and maneuvered it, under cover of the table, inside his robes. Snape took a bite of his own toast as though nothing was happening. Harry had been clever enough not to be whispering; a whisper would have had all eyes on them. Instead, none even noticed.

"You love giving me grey hairs, don't you?" he sighed as his hand was wrapped around a delightfully hardening protrusion.

"Be quiet or I'll take points, Professor," Harry said, cheeky as ever.

Snape gave up and ate his breakfast. One-handed.

Who wants to see me take of Snivelly's pants?
Harry/Snape (Public sex night, challenge by [info]gmth)

"You're sure you want to do this?"

"Yes," Snape said, breathless. "That humiliation is one of my worst memories."

"God, Severus, if I could do anything to make up for that--"

Snape laid a hand on Sirius's arm to silence him. "I know. We were younger. Different people. Not that I don't appreciate the apology. But what I want now is for the two of us to try to purge those memories, this way."

Sirius kissed him. "Anything. Any way I can. You're going easy on me, you know." His smile was sheepish. "Bringing me down here where it happened at night. You could demand to do the same thing to me in broad daylight, in front of everyone."

"And you'd do it. For me."

"I would."

"Well." Snape smiled. "That's not my style. Get undressed."

Sirius didn't hesitate but pulled his shirt over his head. "I think it was--"

That was when the tentacle broke the surface of the water and seized Sirius about the waist, dragging him into the lake, with no other sound than a splash to mark the event.

"That," Snape spat, "is my style. In the morning, I'll consider us even, you cur."

Azkaban nights
Harry/Snape (Public sex night, challenge by [info]nimori)
A/N: Apologies to Douglas Adams.

The most interesting segment of the Black family tapestry has nothing to do with the marriage of Andromeda Black to a Muggle.

The most interesting segment of the Malfoy family tapestry has nothing to do with the portion surrounding Jeanne-Maire Malfoy, who buried three husbands and then wed her nineteen-year-old stableboy on a whim.

No, the most interesting segment of both family tapestries involves Lucius Malfoy and Sirius Black, and the coincidence that both of them were assigned the same cell during their non-concurrent respective stays in Azkaban, and an absolutely improbable accident involving a contraceptive and a time-turner.

Iphigenia Solange Malfoy-Black has grey eyes and black hair and is a quite well-adjusted child, actually.

Despoiling Harry

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